what about the next one?

If you spent any significant time as a single person after graduating from high school or college or grad school or whatever you did with your life, you probably had a lot of people asking you why you weren’t married, or when you were going to get married. I spent about 8 years answering that question (sometimes to complete strangers) and there’s really no easy answer. Most reasons single people have for not being married are either very personal, kind of embarrassing, or just plain obvious. My favorite answer was, “No one has asked,” which makes people feel just bad enough that they change the subject.

When you do get married, the questions don’t stop. Of course everyone wants to know when you’re having kids. This tempts you (well, at least it tempts me) to say something like, “Well, the weather’s supposed to be nice next week. Maybe then.”

When you do finally get around to having a baby, after a long and what seems to be terrible (to you, at least) labor, people wait about three weeks to start asking you when you’re going to have another.


You haven’t slept, showered, or had a coherent thought in who knows how many weeks. In fact, you’ve barely ventured out of the house because walking just hasn’t felt right. The person inquiring as to when you’ll be busting out another one of these babies may be the first non-family member you’ve seen since you left the hospital, and they almost certainly do not mean to bother you by asking, but it doesn’t stop you from wanting to point out that your little bundle of joy’s head circumference is in the 99th percentile, and perhaps it will be better for everyone if you wait a few more days before making a final decision on that second kid.

Thankfully, once you start feeling better, after 6 weeks or so, it doesn’t feel quite as crazy when people ask you about the second one. I mean, it is still crazy, but there’s been enough time for your sense of humor to come back, and you can at least recognize that people only ask because your first one is so unbelievably adorable (at least that’s how I’m choosing to take it).

My little guy may have a little brother or sister one day, but don’t ask me when. I really haven’t had a chance to sit down and look at my calendar.


About mrsmartin

I love to camp, hike, read, take pictures, spend time with friends and family, play word games, and learn stuff about all kinds of different things. I'm a Seventh-day Adventist Christian. I'm a vegetarian teetotaler. I used to be a teacher and now I'm a wife and a mom.
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